I hate myself,my life,and angry at god?

I have had a pretty rough life.my mom had at an early age 15 and she didn't get a chance to finish school so she basically was working paycheck to paycheck.She also had a drinking problem that caused her to lash out on me verbally and physically.I always been very shy and quiet which caused me to be the target at school every since elementary up into highschool.Their were times were I would wear the same pants in the same week which was pure torture for me at school.I had to stay with my grandmother my moms mom for a while,while she went on her drinking binges and ual encounters.I also went to live with my dad and step mom and stepsister who was just born.and my step mom didn't too much care for me because she didn't like my mother.my dad was there for me physically but wasn't their for me emotionally if you know what i mean and that really drove me into depression.so i told my dad that i wanted to live with my grandmother his mom and that woman spoiled me rotten(smile).I Lived wih her and since she was so nice I used to get into alot of things i shouldn't of been doing.My uncle had got out of prison and came to live their since he didn't have another place to go and he touched me in places he shouldn't have which really isolated me.It happened when I was 12 and I'm now 21 and still haven't told a soul.So that should tell you how quiet I am which isn't good.mom finally got herself together to live with her and her then boyfriend when I was 15.I was very happy because i finally had my mother back and i liked her boyfriend because he acting more like a father then my real one.Pretty soon after that my mother was still drinking but just not as much and didn't go out that often unless to work or to go to the store for necessities.One day while she was out n about he stuck his finger in my and attempted to me.My mom didn't believe me because she told be not to tell anyone about it.I was very angy at her but didn't show it.