How do I live with myself knowing what ive done?

In the grand scheme of things, it's not that terrible. I mean, yes, it was bad, but it could have been a lot worse. And you recognize what you did was wrong, which is important. So, you move on, you learn from this. Hopefully you don't still have contact with him, and if you do, end it now. And you make sure never to do anything like that again.